Lifetime (2)/Getty Images (1)
Dean McDermott revealed he's done with his and wife Tori Spelling's reality show "True Tori" following last night's episode, which saw the actress reach out to her ex-husband Charlie Shanian nearly nine years after their breakup in a joint therapy session.
"I can't do this anymore," Dean confessed on Access Hollywood Live. "I can't keep opening a vein, opening my soul and sharing my feelings and thoughts and demons with the world."
The actor also talked about his struggle with suicidal thoughts, admitting, "I was driving around in my truck with a loaded 9 mm...I don't ever want to be in that dark place again."
This season has been particularly rough on the 47-year-old, whose drama has centered around his December 2013 cheating scandal and drug and alcohol addiction. Things also got uncomfortable when Tori met with her ex-husband Charlie Shanian on last night's episode.
A little background for you: Tori and Charlie were married for only one year before it was revealed the "Beverly Hills, 90210" star was having an affair with Dean on the set of their Lifetime movie "Mind Over Murder."
Naturally, the 2005 scandal made headlines and Tori ultimately left Charlie for Dean.
"He told me how he felt. It made me feel sad that he had to come to grips with what I said," the 41-year-old revealed of their meeting, which was — unfortunately — not filmed. "He's a good man," she added through tears.
Flash to Dean, who cheated on Tori in the last year AND experienced a relapse.
"It felt like family, safe, nurtured by and then it felt like a loss," she told Dean of the reunion. "I remember how safe I felt with him. When I left I just suddenly felt really alone and I don't know why."
Yikes. When Dean asked whether it brought up more feelings of anger towards him, Tori replied, "A little bit." DOUBLE yikes.
"I chose not to be with him. I chose to be with you. I made the choice, so I need to figure it out," she then added, leaving the dysfunctional couple's status once again up in the air — until next Tuesday.
Head over to Access Hollywood for more from Dean's emotional interview.