In a deeply candid interview, singer Halsey reveals she suffered a miscarriage last year and was forced to perform just hours later.

The 21-year-old tells Rolling Stone that she got pregnant during her 2015 Badlands tour, and believes the stress of traveling and working nonstop contributed to the loss of the baby. Unfortunately, she had a concert scheduled for later that same day.

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“I’m like, ‘I have to cancel this show!’” she recalls. “And everyone’s kind of like, ‘Well, it’s Vevo LIFT, and it’s 3 million impressions, so …’ No one knew what to do.”

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The “Ghost” hitmaker sent an assistant out to pick up some adult diapers so that she could go on. “It’s the angriest performance that I’ve ever done in my life,” she explains. “That was the moment of my life where I thought to myself, ‘I don’t feel like a f–king human being anymore.’”

Halsey admits she blamed herself for the miscarriage. “I wasn’t drinking. I wasn’t doing drugs. I was f–king overworked — in the hospital every couple of weeks because I was dehydrated, needing bags of IVs brought to my greenroom,” she shares. “My body just broke the f–k down.”

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Despite the traumatic experience, the New Jersey native isn’t giving up on her dream of starting a family. “I want to be a mom more than I want to be a pop star. More than I want to be anything in the world,” she says.