In case you missed it: today is Joe Alwyn‘s birthday. In case you really missed it: British actor Joe Alwyn is dating Taylor Swift aka my personal hero. Joe and Taylor (can we just call them Jaylor?) already celebrated their one-year anniversary and I’m still waiting for T-Swift to post a cute pic on Instagram to make it official. I know, I know… that probably won’t happen anytime soon since Taylor is embracing her ~mysterious~ side during the Reputation era. But, that doesn’t mean the day her boyfriend was born should go by without proper recognition.

I, like many other fans, grew to love the “End Game” singer during her Fearless era. Her debut album — Taylor Swift — was too country for my taste, but after I heard the first bars of “Love Story” I was hooked. As a 13-year-old high schooler, I fell in love with Taylor’s portrayal of a fairytale-like romance. I was baited with talks of “Romeos and Juliets” and crushed when I realized that “life ain’t a fairytale.” So, now as a 23-year-old adult-ish fan, I take Taylor’s relationships very seriously. When Taylor’s heart breaks, my heart breaks. When Taylor sings about falling in love with a gorgeous Brit, a little piece of me falls in in love too.

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Every Swiftie has a favorite Taylor Swift boyfriend. And before you begin to ponder whether that statement is anti-feminist: it’s not. I am the first one to combat the hella offensive rhetoric that Tay is a serial dater — but, I also love following her love life through her songwriting. Pre-Jaylor, Swifties clung to her Maple Latte sipping days with Jake Gyllenhaal or her Coachella memories with Calvin Harris. Or maybe you’re an OG fan who’s still not over her phone call breakup with Joe Jonas.

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But, no matter which Taylor relationship you shipped the hardest, you know that they all ended the same way: in tragedy. Well, tragedy followed by a super-successful hit… but tragedy nonetheless. All of those (super hot) guys were wrong for the pop-star. And you can’t fully fault them either because every guy before the right guy is the wrong guy. That’s sappy AF, but it’s true. And I’m here to tell you that Joe is that guy, the right guy, for Taylor.

You might be skeptical of my declaration that Joe is Taylor’s best boyfriend since there is so much about him that we as fans don’t know. But, if you listened to any of Reputation then you heard how Taylor describes their relationship. In “Call It What You Want” she sings, “I want to wear his initial / On a chain round my neck, chain round my neck / Not because he owns me / But ’cause he really knows me / Which is more than they can say.” They. Who is they? Newsflash: They is her ex-boyfriends, her haters, the media, you, and… me.

We don’t know Taylor… at least not according to the singer. That’s exactly why she used her latest album to publically set the record straight. That’s why she isn’t appearing on magazine covers. That’s why we still don’t have a damn Instagram pic with her and Joe. Taylor is treating this relationship differently because it actually is different. She’s not an 18-year-old girl singing about her Prince Charming coming to rescue her. She’s a 28-year-old woman who decided to rescue herself. She’s reclaiming the narrative of her love life in order to create space for a new one. And that’s why I believe this love is the one that will actually last.