Rachel Lindsay and Bryan Abasolo have reached the end of their journey. After four years of marriage, the chiropractor, 43, filed for divorce from the former Bachelorette, 38, on January 2, citing irreconcilable differences. “Rachel and I have made the difficult decision to part ways and start anew,” he wrote on Instagram. “Sometimes loving yourself and your partner means you must let go.”

The news came as a shock to fans as the couple had recently discussed their desire to start a family together. “Instead, it seems they started to grow their brands and their careers and become the best versions of themselves — separately,” a source exclusively tells Life & Style. “Rachel was so focused on red carpets and entertainment reporting and hosting, while Bryan [had his] chiropractic practice and podcast [Talking It Out Bachelor Nation]. The more they focused on those things, the more their lives just took off in two different directions.”

Even when Rachel and Bryan were together, all they would do was argue, adds the insider: “It just didn’t seem like something they wanted to work on. It seemed like more work than they thought a marriage should be.”