Mac Miller was dearly beloved in Hollywood and the music industry. As soon as the news broke of his tragic death on Sept. 7, dozens of stars spoke out about how much he had touched their lives. However, the tribute of popular YouTuber Tana Mongeau left the Internet buzzing, as it seems she revealed that she was actually secretly dating Mac before his untimely passing. Now, she’s setting the record straight about why she chose to reveal their friendship to the world after his death.

“It’s so hard and I should have thought that through more in the moment than posting something so out of context, but I grew up obsessed with Mac Miller,” the 20-year-old said in an interview on the No Jumper podcast. “I remember being in 7th grade listening to ‘I’ll Be There’ on repeat obsessing over how much he loved his mom, and then being a freshman in high school listening to K.I.D.S. and ‘The Spins,’ and then waiting in line hours for his concerts. I was a f–king die-hard fan.”

She said that she was the most depressed she’s ever been after her TanaCon scandal earlier this year, and Mac had DM’d her first. They started talking and hanging out. “It was clear to me that he wanted to get to know me,” she said. She said they had started talking in June after she left a comment on his Instagram and he followed her back and messaged her.

“It seemed like he was genuinely there and really really cared and it was the first thing to take me out of that depression. He was really really f–king there,” she continued. She said she she was upset because she felt that Mac was being dehumanized in reports following his death. “In that moment, all I wanted was to like, humanize him. And show him how I saw him.” Even though fans thought that she was trying to imply that they were dating, she made it clear that it was not a romantic type of relationship.

Tana chose to share a screenshot of a text message conversation with Mac, and while Tana disabled all commenting on her Instagram post dedicated to Mac, fans made their way over to other posts to express hate. “You can’t sing and you use Mac’s death for attention, f–k you,” one user wrote. “She probably did cocaine with Mac once and thought that was him expressing his love for her lol,” commented another. “Literally attempting to use Mac’s death for personal gain… shame on you, girl. Show some dignity and respect, for once!” someone added.

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i love you Malcolm. i love you

A post shared by tanamongeau (@tanamongeau) on

Tana, never being one to let trolls get away with anything, provided a lengthy and emotional clapback: “You can think that all you want but I loved him with everything in me. It didn’t and doesn’t feel real. I want to make sure the world knows how f–king incredible he was and that his legacy lives on in the way it deserves. F–k it being another celebrity death and everyone moving one. He was human, and incredible, and he truly impacted my life. I want people to know that not just now but forever.”

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Tana had also expressed her disbelief about the “Self Care” rapper’s passing on Twitter, where she wrote: “There’s no way, I spoke to him last night, there’s no f–king way,” she wrote. “He was so strong and so funny and so f–king talented … the little things he would do to make me smile … that voice… his voice will echo in my head forever.”

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As to whether Tana and Mac actually had a romantic relationship remains to be seen. However, as many are aware, Mac had a very public relationship with Ariana Grande for two years, causing a lot of fans to accuse Tana of “having an affair” with Ari’s ex. 

Of course, the 21-year-old wasn’t about to let that slide either. “There’s no ‘affair’ or any of those crazy allegations… just someone I spent all of my time for awhile lately consumed with talking to and loving — but I’m truly sorry if anything I said painted a different picture,” she tweeted.  

Our thoughts and prayers go out to Mac Miller’s friends, family, and fans during this difficult time — Tana included!