Magic Mike XXL spoilers ahead. Really sexy Magic Mike XXL spoilers ahead. We’re still recovering. (P.S. Channing Tatum is ... everything.)
(GIF Credit: Giphy.com)
1) Channing Tatum cannot possibly be a real human being.
2) We have the same feelings about Matt Bomer.
3) Tarzan is a beautiful man. #OldDudesWithLongHairNeedLoveToo
4) We’re not worthy.
5) Can Channing wear a wet shirt, like, all the time? We’ll take him shirtless, too. Either option works.
6) Tobias' “Alright, alright, alright” Matthew McConaughey impression is spot on. #ByeDallas
7) Tito’s hair is ON FLEEK.
8) Amber Heard isn't wearing any makeup. Ugh.
9) We could sit all day long and watch Channing Tatum lift things. 😍😍😍
10) “Pony" by Ginuwine really is life changing thanks to Channing in a wood shop. Oh, it works. Trust us, it works.
11) There’s a drag queen bar scene. And they all dance. ‘Nuff said.
12) That girl who played Dinky in Sydney White (see left) just showed up. Amanda Bynes starred in that movie, as well as She’s the Man with Channing. Look at that connection, y’all.
13) This special moment between Amber and Channing’s characters is really weird. Not because they're talking about drag queen names and stuff (Clitoria Labia FTW), but because we can't really see what’s going on. Soderbergh, a little lighting, eh?
14) Backstreet Boys > N Sync. Right on, Manganiello.
15) Water bottles might not be good for the earth, but they're good to have around when Joe Manganiello decides to pour one all over himself.
16) We were all about Nick Carter in the “I Want it That Way” music video — until the Mang showed us true talent in a convenience store.
17) Is there a real stripper convention in Myrtle Beach? Spoiler: there is, according to Channing. Who’s coming with us next year?
18) Matt Bomer's stares both frighten and excite us.
19) HOW IS HE REAL?????
20) We'd really like to meet Jada Pinkett Smith's trainer and beautician. Homegirl does. not. age.
21) MICHAEL STRAHAN IN A BANANA HAMMOCK!!!! What. Is. Happening. We’re not entirely sure how or why it happened, but it did.
22) Stephen ‘tWitch’ Boss lives up to his name. He really is a BOSS. And he twitches. So it works.
23) We’re strangely into this sexual chemistry between Channing and Jada…
24) Donald Glover might be the cutest little thing in the world.
25) The fact Channing Tatum can lift pretty much any woman and do crazy things with her is the hottest thing. Ever.
26) We’re REALLY not worthy.
27) Andie MacDowell and her big, fabulous hair is here and all is right in the world.
28) She’s totally going to be Joe M’s “glass slipper.” (You’ll see what we mean…)
29) Can Bomer sing "Heaven" on repeat? Please?
30) That housewife just got INCREDIBLY lucky with Bomer. You lucky, lucky woman, you.
31) Every single thing about this ‘Real Housewives of Savannah’ scene is crushing it.
32) Amber Heard is pretty much the female version of Captain Jack Sparrow. Now we get it.
33) Amber Heard eats cake. Red velvet cake.
34) Channing Tatum is right — red velvet is “bulls--t.” COOKIES, YO.
35) Yup, Andie Freakin’ MacDowell gets the pleasure of being Joe M’s perfect fit. #LIFEGOALS
36) Speaking of Manganiello, we’re insanely jealous of Sofia Vergara.
37) And Jenna Dewan-Tatum.
38) And Amber Heard.
39) And Andie MacDowell.
40) And that convenience store clerk.
41) And basically every single woman in this movie.
42) Oh, and anyone who gets to touch Matt Bomer in real like — aka his hubby, Simon Hall.
43) We’re STILL not worthy.
44) Yeah. Okay. Like any girl would turn down Channing's proposal.
45) Is this Pitch Perfect 3? Because Elizabeth Banks just showed up…
46) A TWILIGHT PERFORMANCE + JOE MANGANIELLO’S REACTION = PRICELESS (True Blood, anyone?)
47) Tarzan finally has his moment. And what a wonderful, majestic moment it was
48) Can Tito make us a sundae? Kthxbye.
49) Was that girl mad about the hot fudge? Were the rest meh about the whipped cream? A hot dude + hot fudge sounds really awesome at first, but that shower must have been rough.
50) Matt Bomer can't dance, but he has the voice of an angel.
51) ROME (Jada) > DALLAS in the emcee department.
52) How is this woman 43???
53) Joe Manganiello looks REALLY good in a suit. But he also looks good shirtless. The man would look good in a friggin’ tutu.
54) Does Trent Reznor approve of this NIN scene? Is this what dreams are made of? We're going with YES.
55) Twitch + Channing = ULTIMATE BROING
56) Was Johnny Depp slightly uncomfortable watching Channing's junk in his woman's face?
57) THIS IS THE HOTTEST THING WE’VE EVER SEEN.
58) Did anyone ever actually get that woman off Christian Grey's swing?
59) We need a cold, cold, freeeeeezing shower.
60) To summarize: While watching anything Magic Mike related, we will NEVER be worthy.