So heartbreaking. Earlier this month, Real Housewives of New York City star Bethenny Frankel experienced a devastating loss when her on-again, off-again boyfriend Dennis Shields was found dead in his apartment in Trump Tower. Bethenny has been not very active on social media in the weeks following his death, and now, the Bravo reality TV star took to Twitter to share a message to her fans about how she has been dealing with her grief since Dennis’ death.

“It’s hard to breathe [and] I appreciate you giving me the space [and] support to try to do so,” the 47-year-old wrote on Twitter. “It’s excruciating — sudden death is no closure [and] constant [questions] [and] memories. Our relationship is current so it’s painfully raw. Trying to stay healthy [and] move through it [with] tears [and] close friends. XO.”

Bethenny confirmed that she and Dennis were a couple at the time of his tragic death, which police sources believed was caused by an accidental drug overdose, according to the New York Post. The pair had been friends for more than 30 years, but they didn’t start dating until 2016 after Dennis separated from his wife, Jill Shields — who was high school friends with Bethenny.

They weren’t very public with their relationship, but during an interview on the Steve Harvey show back in March, Bethenny opened up about their relationship even though she didn’t mention Dennis by his name.

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Rest In Peace my sweet babies who gave me endless unconditional love. #nowandforever

A post shared by Bethenny Frankel (@bethennyfrankel) on

“I’ve been with someone on and off for years,” she said at the time, according to People. “We’re trying to really kind of be good partners and be good teammates and I think relationships oddly are — and this sounds cold — but a little bit like business. If both people aren’t happy about it but slightly uncomfortable and giving up something or giving in [to] something, it doesn’t work. So both partners have to say, ‘All right, I’m in it for this.’ And I think we might be at that point, believe it or not.”