Some may say that the world of child pageantry is creepy, exploitive, and downright despicable. Others may say, “Idk, maybe, but it’s hella entertaining.” It’s for that second set that Toddlers & Tiaras existed, TLC’s most lol-worthy reality show that introduced a nation to Honey Boo Boo, Eden Wood, and a myriad of hilarious GIFs that will live on our desktops for generations. Regardless of your true feelings on beauty pageants, you have to admit the tiara-wearing toddlers who starred on the show were spouting out iconic one-liners. And credit where credit is due: you can never criticize them for a lack of ambition.
Sure, you can try your damnedest to get a masters degree in accounting, or have a thriving career in marketing, whatever. But the second these beauty queens get in front of a camera or up on stage, they express the truest desires in our hearts.
Scroll down for all the times the Toddlers & Tiaras tykes really spoke to what we want to be when we grow up.
1. When Emerald decided to explore her options.
We actually double-majored in Photography and Octopus at Rutgers, so don’t let the haters tell you you can’t do both, Emerald!
2. When this girl clearly understood fiscal responsibility.
What kind of candy, though, because you can’t just throw your money at a bunch of Mounds bars haphazardly.
3. And this girl was willing to get purchased by the other girl someday.
It’s important that she specified “that’s pretty.”
4. When Lacey taught us to reach for the stars.
We, too, dream for this day, but it’s Pampers ’til then.
5. When Claudia inspired young entrepreneurs across the country.
This really resonates with our personal dream of commandeering a fleet of KFCs.
6. When this little angel was all of us accepting defeat with grace and dignity.
She’s going to make it far in the pageant world, we can tell.
7. When Eden taught us that all your best work has to be done before you can legally drink.
Obviously, we were also vying for that Oscar at the age of four.
8. And that global domination should always be a part of a young woman’s to-do list.
Right in between “grocery shopping” and “eyebrow wax.”
9. And that failing that, you can always make a very nautical career move.
10. When this darling girl had the same reaction to Lemonade that we did.
11. And Alanna obviously wanted to get the band back together.
The cancer thing is nice too.
12. And finally, when Yazmin really raised the bar for the rest of us.
Walk and talk? Ok, let’s not get crazy.