The retired restaurateur thought he’d had enough time to grieve after Toni died in 2017 from an infection, but it wasn’t long enough for him to move on from his high school sweetheart.
“Somehow I got it in my head that if you grieve for a year, that at the end of the year you should be OK. It absolutely wasn’t the case,” Gerry, 72, told People on Wednesday, November 29.
“I’ve dated a number of times since Toni’s passed, more recently than back closer to when she’d passed,” he continued. “For one reason or another, the attempts didn’t work out. I could give you a wide range of reasons, but it doesn’t really matter.”
The father of two became discouraged after his failed dating attempts, and at one point, wondered if love was in the cards for his future. Eventually, he decided to try again.
“One failure led to another for a variety of reasons,” Gerry said. “It was actually about three and a half or four years, I just finally realized that, ‘OK, I’m happy with myself. If I am going to be alone, I can deal with it.’”
With only one night until The Golden Bachelor finale, Gerry confessed that he had a hard time coming to a final decision between the remaining women, Leslie Fhima and Theresa Nist.
“I headed towards the end, I was really in conflict about several of the women,” Gerry said about the finale. “As very specific events occurred, it really helped me gain clarity on what I wanted to do.”
Gerry’s story of losing Toni and his grief afterward garnered sympathy from viewers as they tuned in for the inaugural season of the show.
Speaking about his wife’s death during The Golden Bachelor premiere, Gerry said, “We went to the emergency room, and she had a bacterial infection that infected her kidneys and infested her liver. And so, I took my wife to the emergency room on July 7, and she passed away on July 15. Now every time I look at [the lake outside my house] I go, ‘This is her dream. This is what she deserves. Why am I standing here alone?’”
However, it seems as though not everything was as clear as he implied.
The Bachelor Nation star’s reflections come on the heels of an interview by The Hollywood Reporter with one of Gerry’s exes. The woman, who went by the name Carolyn to maintain her privacy, said that she and Gerry went on their first date just one month after Toni’s death. Carolyn also added that she and Gerry dated for 10 months before she moved into his supposed “dream home” that he had bought with Toni. While their relationship lasted for almost two years, Gerry has hinted at all the lonely nights he endured after Toni’s death, which has now caused fans to raise their eyebrows.