Telling her story. Noah Cyrus is opening up about her past substance abuse and reveals that her first experience taking Xanax was with her ex-boyfriend and musician, Lil Xan.
“It just kind of becomes this dark pit, bottomless pit,” she told Rolling Stone during an interview that was released on Tuesday, July 5.
The “Lonely” singer, 22, explained that her ex introduced her to the downer drug as a way to get closer and “bond” with one another when she was 18. While being at a low point in her life, Noah wanted to take drugs that the people closest to her were doing, at the time.
“I think I wanted to fit in with him. I wanted to be what he wanted and what he thought was cool and what I thought everybody was doing,” she said. “Once I felt that it was possible to silence things out for a second and numb your pain, it was over.”
The “July” artist’s relationship with the Benzodiazepine spiraled out of control during the 2020 coronavirus pandemic, where she slept until late in the evening and did not know which day of the week it was.
Things took a drastic turn in May 2020 when she started falling asleep during an interview while promoting her single “The End of Everything.” “I was completely nodding off and falling asleep, and unable to keep my head up or keep my eyes open because I was so far gone,” she said.
However, that wasn’t the defining moment where she realized she needed help with her substance abuse. After her grandmother died in August 2020, Noah recalled not being able to say her last goodbye because she was too far into the deep end and was emotionally and mentally numb, which she regrets to this day.
“I was there physically, but emotionally, I was not there. I couldn’t be,” she said. “That was my big eye-opener — I was sitting alone, and I was scared, and I realized that all the people that I love and all the people that I need, I was the one pushing them away,” the “I Burned L.A. Down” singer continued.
Noah has been open about her relationship with drugs, including the lyrics to her music. She released her single “Mr. Percocet” in May, where she explained her experience through song. The Tennessee native got real candid with fans about her journey after she released the single’s music video on Twitter.
“It has now been over a year since I ditched the prescription downers at the end of Dec 2020. As I look back now I see how worrisome my behavior was, especially throughout quarantine,” her lengthy Twitter thread read at the time. “I guess telling everyone this is a way to provide some context for what’s been going on, and to thank you for sticking by me.”
Her new album The Hardest Part comes out September 16.