It’s over for Vanderpump Rules stars Tom Schwartz and Katie Maloney. After she was photographed recently not wearing her wedding ring, Tom confirmed that the pair have split after 12 years as a couple, nearly three of which they were legally married.

Tom took to Instagram on March 15 to explain the decision to part ways to fans. “Well, this sucks. How am I supposed to capture 12 years of love in a f—king canned Instagram caption. What picture am I supposed to use? Is there a go-to break up font?” he began before getting down to business.

“Wanted to clear the air on some rumors floating around. Katie and I are separating,” he added.  I’m not quite ready to use the ‘D’ word because it’s too painful. Yes, my heart aches but I’ll be ok. Not looking to evoke any sympathy here. I’m not the victim. Not gonna write too sad a song. Fully respect Katie’s decision and we’ve had healthy, productive conversations about it. It would be far sadder if she decided to stay with me whilst not happy.”

Courtesy of Tom Schwartz

“After 9 years on a reality TV show it feels a little tone def to say ‘please respect our privacy’ (especially while posting this) so instead I’ll ask to please be kind. I don’t fault you for any snap judgment. If I was watching us on VPR for the last 9 years, I’d be making them too. Perception gets skewed bc of seeing snippets of our lives on the show, but I’m telling you we had some of the most blissful, romantic, fun times humanely possible over the course of our relationship. I’m talking heaven on earth level joy,” Tom explained about their long-running stint on Vanderpump Rules where fans followed their romance.

The club owner had very kind words for his estranged wife. “She taught me so much about love and being a better partner,” he said, before adding, “It’s hard not to feel like a statistic. Another failed marriage. I don’t look at it as a failure. As sad as I am, still happy to say there’s no anger or bitterness. Zero. Still so much love for you @musickillskate. And your family.

He added about their past and future, “I don’t think we were ever a model couple. Maybe we are model divorcees. A dubious title I suppose. Also, I’m aware of the tragedies taking place in the world right now, I have perspective here. I’ll be fine. So I’ll shut up now and say it one last time, love you, Bub. Always and forever, you’ll be in my heart. On my ass? Maybe not so much.”

Tom and Katie began dating in 2010. They eventually tied the knot in a romantic 2016 outdoor ceremony in Northern California, officiated by their boss, Lisa Vanderpump. But Tom failed to file their marriage certificate, meaning they weren’t legally wed. The pair fixed that error with a wild July 2019 Las Vegas Western-themed wedding surrounded by their castmates. For that ceremony, Tom did file the correct paperwork to legally make the couple husband and wife.

Katie fueled split rumors when she very noticeably didn’t wear either her engagement or wedding ring from Tom over lunch with pal and former VPR costar on March 10. She made sure to put her left hand up to the side of her face for an Instagram snapshot with her pal, causing speculation among fans that Katie and Tom had split. Now he has confirmed those suspicions.