The 24-year-old recalled a time she was performing after she and the rapper, 30, split and saw two fans in the crowd who made her want to be better. “I was doing Good Morning America and I’m in a blonde wig and white patent-leather outfit, twirling around while I’m going through a heinous breakup,” she told Cosmopolitan in her new cover story.
“I look down and there are these two girls, one with pink hair, one with blue hair, septum piercings, cool as f–k, still loving me, probably knowing what a weird time I’m going through,” she continued. “I looked at them, looked at myself in my sparkly Britney Spears outfit, and went, Ohhh no, they deserve way better than this. If those girls can be that brave in who they are, then I owe them better than this homogenized bulls–t.”
Despite going through the breakup, she still has a positive outlook. “But hey,” she added. “If the worst thing that’s happened to me so far is I wore dumb clothes and dated a s—tty dude, I think I’m doing all right.”
The former couple dated for nine months, split in July 2018, then reconciled and broke up for good in October 2018. Shortly after, the “Without Me” crooner took to Twitter to express her thoughts on what seemed to be about the former relationship.
“Reminder to self: Happiness is not a replacement for misery. It’s an addition. Pain will always be there. But that’s okay. U allow happiness to join as another option. So when the time comes, it’s there waiting, existing; a possibility for when you’re ready to choose.”
The pop star added, “@ me: life is not pain vs happiness. One does not replace the other. They exist together. Happiness doesn’t arrive as a replacement. It arrives to assist u in carrying the weight of the pain.” Well said, girl!