Bachelor Clayton on Gaslighting Claims, Susie Being Bachelorette

Sharing his side. The Bachelor star Clayton Echard didn’t hold back following his bombshell date with contestant Susie Evans, which resulted in an apparent breakup.

The reality show star, 28, reflected on their blowout fight while appearing on the Wednesday, March 9, episode of the “Almost Famous” podcast with hosts and Bachelor Nation alums Ashley Iaconetti and Ben Higgins. Initially, Clayton explained that he was “stressed out” and felt “embarrassed” following his actions on The Bachelor that same week.

“I’m not exactly shocked by the reactions online,” he shared, alluding to the backlash he’s received on social media. “People are very much against me and favoring her, but I totally understand that. I totally get what I’m seeing. I’m embarrassed. I wish that I could have seen her side in that moment.”

During the Tuesday, March 8, episode, Clayton poured his heart out to Susie professing his love to the former pageant queen, 28. However, she raised some concerns with the lead about the future of their relationship. Susie, who is one of the final three left on season 26, explained that if Clayton had feelings or slept with fellow contestants and , she would have a hard time accepting his proposal.

“Those are things I think would be impossible to move forward toward an engagement,” Susie shared. “If I’m sharing your love with somebody else, I don’t think I would be comfortable.”

Clayton, for his part, admitted to sleeping with both women and having strong feelings for both. Although, he did clarify that he feels the most strongly for Susie. Following a heated exchange, Clayton declared, “We’re done. I’m done,” before walking Susie out.

During his “Almost Famous” appearance, Clayton said that when he watched the episode back, he was able to “see it now from the outside.” He added, “I see her side completely,” noting that the “disconnect” between them came because he “adapted” to The Bachelor environment while Susie stayed true to herself. Amid their argument, Clayton said it seemed Susie didn’t “fight” for him. In hindsight, he explained that his comment “was untrue.”

Deal of the Day

This ‘Slimming’ Suit is Just $16 Today! View Deal

Clayton said, “I started having these really dangerous thoughts of being like, ‘What if Susie right now is just trying to get out of this? What if she’s just saying whatever she needs to say to leave me so that she can be the next Bachelorette?'”

“I don’t believe that now,” he said. “I didn’t believe it the next day, but I believed it in that moment and because of that I allowed my emotions to take over. … Nothing she said was going to get through to me at that point.”

Keep scrolling to read more of Clayton’s post-fantasy suites revelations.

If Things Were Different

Clayton told hosts Ashley and Ben that if Susie had the first fantasy suite date instead of the third, the outcome may have been different.

“If I would have sat and talked to her and said, ‘I’m in love with these other two women as well,’ and she said, ‘That’s a deal-breaker,’ then it wouldn’t have mattered if she went first or third,” he explained. “The only thing that I could have changed is, ‘OK, I cannot be intimate with anybody and protect everyone.’ And I believe I would have done that. But I would have still had the feelings.”

On Those Gaslighting Claims

“It’s tough because I’ve seen what everyone’s saying and they’re using some pretty descriptive terms, some pretty heavy-hitting terms that I couldn’t disagree with more. But I understand that it appears that way,” Clayton explained. “I did not handle it well. I was not handed maturely.”

Despite his understanding of the situation, Clayton said he did not gaslight Susie.

“I don’t agree that I was gaslighting because I looked that up, and it said gaslighting, the definition is to try and convince someone of a different reality than what is actually the true reality of the situation,” he shared. “Gaslighting in my eyes is something where it’s you have bad intentions, you’re trying to manipulate somebody, and I was not at all trying to do that. My reality was in my head at that point. … I was not trying to manipulate her for my benefit at all, that’s not me.”

His Reaction to Susie’s Confession

Following his “Almost Famous” appearance, Clayton was a guest on Kaitlyn Bristowe‘s “Off the Vine” podcast on Wednesday, March 10. The ABC star said he was “embarrassed” about his scene with Susie and was “shocked that I couldn’t see her side.”

“I wouldn’t have been so emotional,” he said sharing what he would have changed about their conversation. “In that moment, I convinced myself that the reason why she’s doing this is because she has her own agenda. … I had shut down at that point.”

If Susie Shared Her Concerns Earlier

“I really believe that if she would have said that, I would have — two things. I would of either have said, ‘OK I respect that, thank you for telling me.’ And then I wouldn’t have been intimate with anyone, including her,” Clayton said. “Or I would have said, ‘You know, I don’t know if that’s fair to give me this ultimatum and if you can’t see past that then we’ll have to cut this off.’ It would have been respectful. … I believe I would have done the former, not the latter.”

Making His Mistakes

“All three of the women said, ‘I want you to explore the other relationships fully,’ almost verbatim. I assumed — this is where I made one of my biggest mistakes. Going forward, what I learned was to ask more questions and never assume,” he told Kaitlyn. “I assumed given the environment we were in … the real world rules didn’t apply. There was some leeway because this is a very particular environment. I looked at it like if these women stick around and watch me kiss other women in front of them — which would never be acceptable in the real world — then these real-world boundaries are kind of set aside and there’s a new playing field in this environment.”

Later, he realized that he was in a “really bad spot.”