He’s being honest. YouTuber James Charles recently got real about how the Tati Westbrook scandal and its aftermath affected him — and the 20-year-old didn’t mince words about the fact that the stress was so intense he may have considered self-harming. Thankfully, the makeup mogul had his friends to support him through the worst of it.

“If I didn’t have that, I would be dead right now. Like, I say that, like, not even being dramatic,” the young MUA revealed during a chat with pal Nikita Dragun and vlogger Joey Graceffa on his new show “Campfire Kiki,” posted on September 8. “I don’t think I would have made it through everything that went on without them being with me and making sure that I was OK and waking up in the middle of the night to check on me every 10 minutes to make sure I didn’t, like, literally do something dangerous.”

He also noted that he had a hard time revealing his struggle at any point for fear he would be seen as a cry for attention, rather than a cry for help. “I knew that when I addressed everything and started to get back into everything,” he continued. “I had to just say the facts and deal with it on my own time because if I brought any of that up, it would make it look like I was wanting sympathy or was trying to save myself or save face by bringing up mental health.”

Joey, the host, couldn’t help but reflect on the situation, which blew up the internet back in early May. “To have the whole world against you, how mentally f—king that is,” he commiserated with the Morphe palette creator. “That’s not normal.”

Tati Westbrook, James Charles
Courtesy of Tati Westbrook/YouTube

James couldn’t help but agree — and remind folks that he’s not the only one who has dealt with this type of emotional journey. “It’s not at all and it’s so awful too, because that’s something that, like—so many kids do feel suicidal and so many kids deal with depression and feel anxiety,” he noted.

We’re glad that the MUA is back on solid ground and has the support he needs to keep on killing it. We’re here for you, James!