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Ryan Gosling Felt ‘Lost for a Long Time’ in His Career Before Welcoming Daughters With Eva Mendes
When Ryan Gosling auditioned to play Noah in The Notebook more than 20 years ago, he got some humbling feedback. Director Nick Cassavetes “straight up told me,” Ryan later admitted, that “[I had] no natural leading man qualities.” But that, the filmmaker explained, “is why I want you to be my leading man,” a surprised Ryan recalled.
The gamble paid off: The former Mickey Mouse Club child actor’s performance in the 2004 romance turned him into a mainstream movie star, and his fame exploded. Roles in lauded movies like Half Nelson — which earned Ryan his first Oscar nomination — Lars and the Real Girl, Drive and Crazy, Stupid, Love followed.
Despite his incredibly successful career, though, Ryan, 42, wasn’t happy. A decade ago, he announced he was stepping away from Hollywood to regroup. “I’ve lost perspective on what I’m doing,” he said at the time. “I think it’s good for me to take a break.”
After working nonstop for years, “Ryan realized he hadn’t taken time to focus on his own life,” a source tells Life & Style, “and admitted to his family that he’d been feeling lost for a long time.”
Today, the Barbie star is flourishing — which the source says Ryan credits to that much-needed break, therapy, and the family that he and Eva Mendes have created. “I never knew that life could be this fun, and this is great,” he previously raved of welcoming their daughters, Esmeralda, 8, and Amada, 7. Falling for Eva, 49, in 2011 certainly marked a turning point in his life.
“I wasn’t thinking about kids before I met her, but after I met Eva, I realized that I just didn’t want to have kids without her,” Ryan confessed. The La La Land actor had a troubled childhood in Canada marked by his Mormon parents’ divorce, rebellious behavior, school suspensions and a restlessness to grow up and move out.
There were moments when Ryan and Evan portrayed a couple with a baby in The Place Beyond the Pines “where we were pretending to be a family, and I didn’t really want it to be pretend anymore,” Ryan once admitted. “I realized that this would be a life I would be really lucky to have.”
Still, it hasn’t always been easy. Unlike many Hollywood couples, Ryan and Eva don’t have a nanny and instead tap family members for help. They also pack up Esmeralda and Amada and move around the world, depending on where Ryan is filming. (The family most recently spent time in France when he made The Gray Man and in Australia while he shot The Fall Guy.) While it ensures they’re all together during long productions, the situation comes with its own stresses.
“Ryan’s learned a lot about himself and how to cope with difficulties in therapy. He and Eva have sought counseling together, as well,” the source says, noting the actress let it slip last year that Ryan had quietly become her “husband” at some point. “Eva says that tools they’ve learned in therapy saved their relationship and made her a better mother and partner.”
Though they tackle parenting as equals, Eva chose to put her acting career on the back burner so she could be there for Ryan and their daughters. “That doesn’t mean she doesn’t need alone time, too,” the insider explains, adding that the star keeps her sanity by working on her Skura Style — she became obsessed with cleaning the kitchen after becoming a mom — sponge line or treating herself to the occasional spa day. “Having moments to herself helps her be extra present when she’s with her family.”
As for expanding their brood? “Ryan and Eva would happily have more children,” the source shares, noting they’re leaving baby No. 3 up to fate. “They see their kids as a blessing and are teaching them independence and confidence.”
Hands-on Ryan is sure to make space for sweet dad-and-daughter time as they raise their strong girls — though he’s admitted that when he tries to play Barbies with Esmeralda and Amada, he struggles to keep up with the backstories his little ones have created for the dolls. However, he’d rather flounder than miss out on the memories.
“Time, in general, is something I think about a lot now,” Ryan’s said. “My kids are growing up so fast. I need to keep an eye on the clock in a way I never used to.”
