Want to know the makings of the most bizarre selfie of James Franco to hit the Internet?
Here's what's needed:
—1 shirtless tool
—1 beat up phone (because he can't afford a new one or anything)
—3 stickers on said phone (that only a 6-year-old could love)
—Tons of unkempt hair
—1 bathroom (because where else would this be appropriate? Oh. Right. This is NEVER appropriate.)
—1 Captain Morgan-esque stache
—1 awkward line of chest hair
—Either lots of uncomfortable sweat OR a quick shower
—1 pair of unfortunate boxer briefs that have been lowered to try (keyword: try) and make a sexy selfie
—1 hand seductively holding the top of one's penis
—Enough pubic hair to make everyone and their mom squirm in their seats
And that, ladies and gentleman, is what goes in to the actor's creepiest photo yet — which was deleted after it lived on Instagram for an hour. Not satisfied? We've got his strangest selfies ever in the accompanying gallery. Enjoy and happy Friday.