Honesty hour! Tanner Tolbert revealed that his relationship and sex life with wife Jade Roper “completely changed” since having kids. The Bachelor in Paradise stud admitted that the couple has been struggling to find the romance in their marriage during an interview with fellow Bachelor Nation alum Nick Viall on the August 28 episode of his podcast, “The Viall Files.”

“It took a dive [when Jade started nursing Emmy] and then pretty much right after the breastfeeding stopped, we got pregnant again with Brooks. And now he’s here and we have two kids. It is tough,” he explained. Jade and Tanner met during season 2 of Paradise and got married in January 2016. They welcomed their first child, Emerson Avery, in August 2017 and then their son, Brooks Easton, came along on July 30. Whew, we’re exhausted, too!

According to Tanner, it’s been hard to keep the spark alive. “I feel like I’ve begged for it. And I don’t want to feel selfish — I hate asking, I hate trying, because I don’t want it to be pity sex,” he noted. “I do feel on the back burner.”

Despite his insecurities, he does recognize that Jade is working extremely hard caring for their two babies. He added that their priorities “should be on the kids, not me.” As for Jade, she shared just how empowered she’s been feeling since giving birth. “I have never loved my body more than I have this postpartum,” she wrote on a lengthy Instagram post on August 7. “I have so much respect for my body and the journey it’s been on this year to grow and bring this perfect little joy into my life.” Considering she delivered her newborn son in her closet at home, she deserves a lot of praise.

Baby Brooks is absolutely adorable, but Tanner admitted that he hasn’t experienced the same bond that he has with his oldest child. “I feel bad saying that because I’ve got a beautiful newborn son, but maybe it just takes time,” he divulged about developing their father-son relationship. “I will love them equally, for different reasons, but I feel it right now more with Emmy and I don’t know why.”

Hang in there, parents!