Welcome to Life & Style’s weekly recap of‘s season of with fan-favorite, ! Jordan rose to fame as the gold speedo-clad “pensive gentleman” on ‘s season of , and continued to capture fans’ hearts on seasons 5 and 6 of . Each week, he’ll be spilling his (very) honest thoughts and opinions on Peter, his contestants, and all of the drama that goes down in season 24 exclusively here at Life & Style!
I wish I had my wine, but I’m on a four-day juice cleanse! (Bad timing, I know.)
I just want to start off by saying that the champagne scandal was great last week, but we are all over it now. Nevermind! Hannah Ann is crying and all the convos in the house are about the “whole champagne thing.” I’m over it. Are y’all over it yet?
All the girls are Lululemon sponsored, I swear. They all have a sweat collection for sure, LOL. I crack myself up.
Hannah Ann and Kelsey talking is a waste of breathe. Pop bottles, Hannah Ann, don’t sweat it! Kelsey, chill. You’re bothering me. I’m cringing.
Up ahead, it looks like the house is actually on fire. So far in the battle of the Bachelor contestants, are we Team Hannah Ann or Team Kelsey? My vote, which counts for two votes, is Hannah Ann. I’m totally on your team, Hannah.
Victoria P.’s One-on-One
Victoria P. has too many fears, and I’m still trying to make sense of the fact that she’s never received flowers.
Pete is a red wine guy! Now it all makes sense. Are the producers pushing him to half-ass dance on every date? Flannel and Chevy … Pete, this is not you. You’re from L.A. county. Sincerely, your local Florida man. Does Victoria P. know the watermelon crawl? Probably not…
Victoria says she has more than a crush on Pete, and I’m trying to solve this riddle she’s speaking in. Fewer than 10 words have been exchanged on this date and a classic country concert or some s–t like that looks more like live music at a dive bar … it doesn’t make a lick of sense.
Back to the show! Pete and Victoria P. sit down in an aviation hangar, which smells like oil and jet fuel, no doubt. There’s been no eye contact this far, which is the same as night one. Now she’s crying, and we have to get to the bottom of the Victoria P. backstory. We know she’s faced adversity and has overcome it, but her past still upsets her very much. Maybe she just cares, but maybe she needs to heal.
Do we think Victoria P. is ready to let someone in emotionally? I’m not certain yet. Pete is listening, and I think he’s into her. She just said it might be the stars aligning and they barely know each other. Is there more to this that we don’t know, or is this just romantic small talk? I can’t read the room … I don’t think it’s love, but hopefulness for a romantic connection, perhaps. There are lots of kisses though. Could we binge-watch dates of Victoria P. and Pete? Is it that interesting? Ask yourself that. Victoria P. also just referred to Pete as a “knight in shining armor,” so she’s just really speaking fairytale. Back to the house for now.
Demi’s “Extreme Pillow Fight” Group Date
A knock at the door just came, and now we are announcing the names of the girls on the group date via Natasha.
I don’t even know who some of these girls are, and I’ve watched every episode. Be more interesting, contestants!!!
I think Madison snores, which is so genuine of her. She’s so real.
Demi Burnett just walked in and it looks like war in the house. Demi isn’t taking it easy on the ladies and is here for the date she planned for them. A girl just totally mispronounced “lingerie,” and my mind isn’t blown at this point. It’s a saloon date, y’all, but a pillow fight too. Good job, Demi! Pillow fights are my fave.
Who will the winner be, and will there be a KO?! OK, hold up … I got kicked off Paradise for similar activity, but some of these girls are actually getting beaten. We saw very little of this date, WTF?
Drama With Alayah
I don’t like Alayah at all. Another feud has formed, and Alayah is the villain!!!!! The villain has arrived!!!!!! This is it, everybody!
Pete has zero capability on judging character. You’re talking to the devil (Alayah), but she just said she wants to be a pilot’s wife so Pete considered that vulnerability and said she really opened up. This is the silliest. Alayah is not prim and proper, she’s really shading herself right now. It’s good though … I’ll take this as being more interesting. Let the drama boil. Is Alayah manipulative? That’s rhetorical.
Sydney addresses the fakes in the house. Pete keeps asking them the same questions: Can you see this? Does this work? Like talk to them, guy… Give them a chance to figure it out!
Tammy still seems drunk somehow, LOL.
Pete calls Sydney out in front of the girls, which I’m not sure was cool. Alayah’s response was weak and Pete needs to really step up here. He has no presence in the room. The fuel to the fire has been added to the Sydney vs. Alayah feud. Can we get a “Cheers to being a bitch”?
Pete believes Sydney but also believes Alayah and says he likes her a lot. He has been hacked!!! Sydney got the group date rose and it was not Alayah-up!!!
Go Sydney!!!! Alayah has several voices and I just want her to leave.
There’s a pool party but Pete isn’t feeling his best. So it’s just an opportunity to find answers while wearing bikinis.
Pete pulls Sydney first. Sydney is being honest and very real. Everybody is calling Alayah out while talking to Pete. Alayah just secured her spot on Paradise! There will be nonsense on my beach! Sydney is taking Alayah down … she’s shipwrecked into paradise. There’s no way she makes it past this episode!
Madison is a fake. She’s thrilled that Pete is surrounded by social climbers. Alayah says she can’t fake it with Pete but is simultaneously being fake. Hannah Ann just cheers’d with Alayah and I’m shook. Victoria P. slams the truth on Pete that Alayah asked her to lie about them knowing each other. We don’t how Victoria P. and Alayah know each other but we are about to find out.
Soo we didn’t really find out, but Alayah says she didn’t want to be disqualified and Pete just walked away. Actually, he left the house. Also, Mykenna is crying. Alayah is trying to narrate this episode but certainly has already been written off…
Kelsey did not deserve the sacred first rose in the ceremony of roses. This episode is killing me! I can’t even!!!! We have gotten nowhere with the drama.
Next Week’s Preview
Victoria P. seems to think that she and Pete are making the best connection.
Victoria F. tells Pete that she dated the talent on their date! Yes, it’s another country singer on another Bachelor date. Y’all, listen. I’m pretty sure Victoria F. went to Stagecoach!!!! Did Blake meet her too?!
Alayah returns and now I just give up. Don’t let them return. Ughhhhh, so frustrating! Does this mean Alayah is still the villain or no? I need answers! Now! Right meow!
All in all, Pete has been very reserved and we have only seen like five of the girls this entire episode. I’m ready for the good stuff. I guess in time, good things will come! Until then folks, stay classy!
P.S. Alayah lol more like A-liah (liar)!
The Bachelor airs at 8 p.m. Monday nights on ABC. You can learn all about Pete, get to know his gorgeous contestants , and if you can’t wait till the end of the season, you can see all the . Check back weekly for all of Jordan Kimball’s Bachelor guest blogs!